July 2012
can i try a 30 day free trial of being dead
my mom was using my laptop and she calls me down and says “i’m not going to click on it but that is kind of disturbing for me to see”
little did she know that had she clicked on it she would have been subjected to my comedic genius
god damn i’m funny
pitbull looks like the naked mole rat from kim possible
do you see it
d o y o u
“Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.”
—Henry Rollins (via quotes-shape-us)
- Batman: Hey I'm going to disappear for 8 years.
- Bruce Wayne: Hey I'm going to disappear for 8 years.
- People of Gotham: Shut up Bruce, we're trying to figure out who Batman is.
- Batman: I'M BACK!
- Bruce Wayne: ME TOO.
- People of Gotham: NO ONE CARES BRUCE. WHO THE FUCK IS BATMAN?
They should just start making up fake countries to see if anybody is even paying attention.
“And here’s Narnia, followed by Gallifrey”…
“And bringing up the rear is Asgard, full of glorious purpose”
“There’s the Empire, with Darth Vader waving the flag.”
“Oh, and the contingent from Westeros, such elaborate uniforms”
“And now the representatives of Mordor are simply walking in…”
“Now enters Princess Mia of Genovia.”
if japan hosted the olympics Pokemon battle would be an event!
i don’t even know if i like blogging anymore it’s kinda just routine
there were 7 billion pieces of biodegradable confetti, to represent each person in the world.
out there, in London, in the Olympic Stadium, there is a piece of biodegradable confetti dedicated to me.
Maybe my confetti is touching Benedict Cumberbatch’s.
Maybe mine is touching Tom Hiddleston’s
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it’s like the unofficial official tumblr orgy we’ve always wanted
A ninja is never late nor is he early he arrives precisely when he means to.
